Spare Change

     A young man is shadily sitting out front of wawa, as i go in to tap mac and get a vitamin water to hydrate myself. He looks to be somewhere in his mid twenties, a healthy, decently dressed guy. I walk by him and into wawa with no contact with him, however I cant help but to realize that he is different There was just something about him, a story he was hiding. He looked like a normal guy, dressed fine, clean shaven, but he screamed for help.
     I took care of my business in wawa, tapped mac and got my drink of choice. I used my debit card to pay for my drink so I didn't have to break the fresh twenty the mac machine just gave me, and then lug around change. Change is one of my pet peeves, having change in my pocket drives me crazy.
     As I walked out, the young man said something to me that I couldn't quite comprehend. My brain processed what it heard three or four times before i made it out, "Can you spare any change?" I couldn't believe this. No, I'm not one of those guys who gets creeped out by bum...OK maybe I am, but this guy looked so normal. The stereotypical bum usually has old raggedy clothes, a long barbaric beard, and they usually look twice as old as they most likely are. He was the complete opposite of what bums usually look like, and I couldn't help but to feel sympathy for him.
     I began to wonder how such a young nice guy could stoop to this level. Where were his parents? What happened to his school career? What problem in his life hindered him into breaking down and just giving up on his dreams? Maybe get married? Kids?
     After what seemed like forever I finally answered his question with "No, I don't have any. Sorry." this made me feel terrible. Although I wasn't lying to him, I couldn't help to think of why I didn't have change, which was because I didn't want to slightly inconvenience myself. This guy goes through countless inconveniences everyday, that I don't even want to think about, and I couldn't help him because I didn't want to carry change.

Family

     Family is a group of people who you can always count on, and that love you unconditionally. There is no exception to that rule between my grand mom and my cousin, who both are going through troubles today. Today my grand mom is going through surgery for her collated artery. The surgery is pretty safe with today's technologies, and it is just a precautionary surgery, however there is always some fear when a loved one goes into surgery. My grand mom has lived with me for as long as i can remember, and I have grown very close to her. Now that shes getting older, I am beginning to fear losing her. Who else will I come home to after a long day of school, with a hot plate of food waiting for me.
      Also, today my cousin received news that he will be deployed to Kuwait. This isn't such horrible news, since he figured it was coming and even volunteered to be deployed, but it still is scary to have a loved one sent over to such terrible conditions. I haven't yet talked to him, but I plan to later today. Hopefully both of these people who are so close to me get through these times without any troubles.

Tattoo

     For the past couple months I've been thinking about getting a tattoo, I just couldn't think of something that I would want inked onto my skin for my whole life. I thought of getting something to do with family but that's just too cliche. While watching the Flyers game tonight with my parents it came to me. I want to get a Philadelphia Flyers and Phillies emblem tattooed on me. Maybe the two combined into one original emblem.
     Of course my mother wasn't too fond of this idea, but there's not much she can do about that now that I'm 18. My dad didn't seem to be too against it since hes a die hard Flyers and Phillies fan as well. Hell, it's his fault I love the two so much in the first place.
     So I guess we'll see if I go through with this idea, and hopefully I won't regret it when I'm an old wrinkly man. In that case I guess it can just be a good lesson for my kids.

Death

     Death is a bitch isn't it? Although most of us want to, we can never avoid death, it is inevitable. Some of us are gonna go fighting, some of us are gonna go willingly. Some us are gonna expect it, and some of us are gonna have death creep up on them unexpectedly. Death is quite a scary thing isn't it?
     Some of us might live our whole lives trying to avoid death, but it is the only guaranteed thing in life. What can we do to prevent death? Nothing. One thing we can try to do is not think about it, but that's almost impossible in today's world where death is all around us. Every time we put on the news we hear about death. Death really hits home when a loved one dies.
     When I find myself thinking about my oncoming death, I always try to find a remedy. Sometimes I will think of some crazy event happening in the near future, where death is cured and humans will live forever, however this is jut unreasonable. I find the most comforting thing to do is to think about how much of my life I have ahead of me. I'm still young and I don't want to waste my life thinking about death. Hopefully I have a bright and long future ahead of me, and me and death will meet many years later.
     

Carver

Out of Carver's two similar short stories, Beginners and What We Talk About When We Talk About Love, I think I would have to say I like What We Talk About more. I'm saying this because, although Beginners is actually how Carver meant to story to be and I think it was wrong how his editor completely changed it on him, I think the characters in What We Talk About add more to the plot than they do in Beginners. In Beginners, Mel or  Herb as he is known in that story is just a plain average guy who doesn't really catch my attention, but in WWTA he is made out to almost be a bad guy who thinks he is better since he is a cardiologist. I also like how the ending in WWTA shows there's no one meaning to love and were all left in the dark when thinking about it.

Soul mates?

     Lately in class, love has been a frequent topic. This got me thinking about different things such as people meeting their "soul mates". Now I'm not going to say soul mates aren't real, but I don't think the cliche that everybody will find "the one" is exactly true. After all half of marriages today don't last.
     I think a big problem with this is that people seem to settle for a significant other, and just tell themselves that they are the one just to tie the knot. Everyone seems to think that if you don't get married they are a reject, and perhaps not doing a required duty in life. I personally don't think that every one should get married, its just not meant for some people. Maybe their is someone out there for everyone but I don't think half of them meet each other.
      Not meeting the one you were meant to be with is a scary thought but its just realistic. There are way too many people out their to believe that everyone meets their true soul mate. When I think of my future love life, I can only hope that I find the right woman for myself. I do want to get married, have kids, and be part of a loving family, but I fear that I will settle for someone just like many people today do. I guess time will tell the truth.
    

Professor Hates A Lot

     With a raise of his eyebrows and left upper lip, I already know whats coming before my brain can even comprehend what I'm hearing; another rant about someone or something that he is not too fund of. He is a very stubborn man and if he doesn't like something it "sucks", no questions asked. Even if you walk in his class with an outfit he doesn't agree with he'll surely make fun of you.
     Your probably thinking what kind of asshole professor is this. Well the answer is no other than my English professor, lets just call him Professor Hates A Lot. Now getting tormented by your professor might not seem like a good way of learning, but I personally find his unconventional teaching helpful.
     He's not like your everyday button up and slack wearing professor who bores you with lessons straight from some overpriced back breaking textbook, instead he walks in with a cheesy t-shirt (most likely having something to do with lost...talk about shitty TV) and plain old blue jeans. Most of my classes are boring and I have problems paying attention in them, but his is different. He seems to keep me alert with his angry rants and barbarous language. I don't look at him as a professor at all since he is so different from the rest of my professors. Instead I look at him as just a friend who is a lot wiser than me and has a lot to teach me.
     Well your probably still thinking..."Dude sounds like a douchebag", but that's just because you never took one of his classes. Although he might be a stubborn close minded bastard he is truthful, which I respect. Nobody should be afraid to speak their mind even if it makes people think your an asshole.

Winter Appreciation Day

    This year's winter has really got the best of me. By the end of my day after dealing with the disruptive snow, wet rain or blistering wind, (or all of them at once!) I seem to be genuinely worn out, annoyed and short tempered. Today was no different. I finally got home from a long day at school, that had no shortage of stress, and all I wanted to do was get inside my comfortable house and enjoy a hot meal, however I got into an altercation. As I swung my car door open to get out, good old mother nature had other plans and slammed it right back, onto my leg, with a big gust of cold wind. That was it, I had enough for the day and from there I just shut down. I walked in the house silently and ignored the care my parents threw my way with one word answers and an ignorant walk to my room.
     When i got to my lair, I began to take care of some schoolwork on my new laptop as I watched my flat screen HDTV. Then I notice how much I don't appreciate these things. Of course when I got these things I didn't stay away from them and took care of them like they were my children, but now my TV is collecting dust and I bang my laptop into things every time I bring it around almost as if I want it to break.
     This made me realize that I don't appreciate certain things because I simply became used to them being part of my daily life. The reason I'm going on with all of this because for once it made me look at winter optimistically.
     No, I didn't suddenly appreciate the cold, snow, sleet, sicknesses, dry skin, and all the other shitty things winter brings, but it made me realize something. Would I really appreciate the Summer as much as I do if there was no Winter. I highly doubt it. If there was no Winter I'd probably be ranting on about how hot it was at school today and all I want to do is sit in my air conditioned house and drink a cold glass of water. 
     So I guess if I had to name one good thing about winter it would be the participation it forces us to go through. Yes, it might emotionally, physically, and mentally bend me over and fuck me, but however at the end their is always some better weather that I will appreciate more when it FINALLY comes around.

Nowhere Man

     A man from nowhere assuredly walks into a convenience store on a rainy evening. Although hes unaware of it, to everyone else around him, his appearance is screaming Help! He wears old worn out clothes, the soles of his once black shoes are nearly nonexistent, and his greasy brown hair looks like thin wires sticking up as if they are trying to escape from his scalp.
     He walks around the store as if he knows where he's going and what he's looking for, but he hasn't a clue. Everyone else in the store tries their hardest to avoid him. They want no part of his apparent craziness, but not everyone can escape. He tries making conversation by clamoring on about nothing. His words don't make sense to anyone but himself.  
   While he is in the store nobody speaks. For that moment everyone feels awkward and are scared of this man. They think through everything they do, so they don't set him off. How can such a seemingly powerless man have such power over everyone around him.
     Nobody knows what he wants, and nobody includes him, because he might be from nowhere but he is somebody. We all know this man, but none of us try to understand, and who's to blame?

Music Television?

Every time I'm looking for something to watch on TV I do what everyone else does, scan through some of my favorite channels. Now this would be nothing to rant about if it wasn't for MTV. It seems that every time I check what's on MTV, I always see Teen Mom or 16 and Pregnant. I know I probably do not need to say anything else but I have to get it out. WHO ACTUALLY ENJOYS THIS SHIT?! The sad answer is a lot of people, especially girls my age.
     Recently I was talking to my sister and she told me that she actually watches it. After ranting about the show to her and questioning if she was related to me, she told me an actual good excuse of why she watches it. She said it makes her feel better about her life. Of course I got a good laugh out of this, she must be related to me after all.
     Now i would like to think that everyone that watches these shows had the same excuse as my sister but i know better. A scary thought that i came across lately is that some girls who watch these shows actually idolize these stupid kids who get themselves into these situations. Why would I think this? Its simple, if you ever watch the show, MTV makes these girls look like courageous heroes. They make their lives seem so hard. Now I'm not saying raising a kid is a simple task, but you have to be a fool to not think MTV is paying for that child's needs. Another reason I think viewers of this show idolize these girls is because of how many pregnant girls, my age or younger, I see walking around pregnant as shit. There's some scary thoughts for your weekend.

Driving...me crazy.

Every time I drive for more than ten minutes I seem to lose my mind. Maybe its because I have little patience, or maybe because the thought of how people got their licenses drives me up a fucking wall. Honestly some people are so terrible at driving that its a wonder that their still alive. Not to mention this weather of late has not been any help to the poor driver's cause.

     I know I can't be the only one who feels this way in fact a lot of my friends complain about driving as well. One thing I wonder is how people passed their driving tests when they can't even change lanes without almost causing a multiple car pile-up. 

     Don't even get me started on how old people drive...especially old women. Not one person can tell me they never were driving behind someone going about ten miles under the speed limit and began to get frustrated. What I usually do in this situation is look at the license plate and surely I see that crippled stick figure on their damn chair. As soon as I see the cu-tip top that the old women calls hair struggling to peek over their car seat it's over, my trip just got extended a few minutes.

     Some people might call me impatient and say that I'm gonna get to my destination either way...fuck them. I'm only gonna live once and I sure as hell don't want to think of all the time i wasted in my life due to terrible drivers.

Here's my genius idea that I personally think should get run through the state: Every ten years everyone with a license has to go and retake their driving test. Plain and simple if you cant pass a driving test you shouldn't be on the road.